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From the Pages of Orlando Weekly: EPA recommended household temps create heat on social media

Image: Thermostat set to 78 F, consumerreports.org
Image: Thermostat set to 78 F, consumerreports.org

A report from the U.S. Environmental Protection Agency set off a social media firestorm this week when a Tampa TV reporter tweeted its home thermostat guidelines.

The Energy Star recommendations say households should set the temperature to 78 degrees Fahrenheit while you’re home, 85 degrees while you’re away, and 82 while you’re asleep.

Truly, monsters walk among us.

Globally, this July was the hottest month in recorded history, and Florida has not been spared. But this report suggests that we should just learn to accept the angry, sweaty embrace of Big Heat.

The Centers for Disease Control actually recommends that an occupied dwelling be kept between 75 and 80 degrees in summer. Florida Power and Light says you need to keep the thermostat below 80 for at least part of the day to keep your house from being overrun by mold.

Comfort is subjective, but the only time it should be over 82 degrees indoors is after a hurricane, when half of us have lost power and we’re forced to experience Florida in its steamy, insufferable primal state.

In the name of John Gorrie, the Florida man who invented air conditioning, you’ll have to pry this thermostat from my slightly chilled, dead hands.